Apple pie. The Constitution. The Running of the Porta Potties. 3 things that make America what it is today. And tomorrow is the Preakness, the annual tradition of drunk kids from the Northeast getting inebriated beyond all belief at Pimlico.
I suggest going to Preakness exactly once. The Preakness is the red headed step child of the Triple Crown. If the official drink of the Kentucky Derby was a fine wine, the official drink of the Preakness would be Natty Light. For years Preakness was BYOB..which translated to “fill up wagons and shopping carts with as many 30 packs as possible and we trust you won’t drive home”. Apparently things didn’t work out, because now it’s just “all you can drink” instead of BYOB, a very obvious solution!
Everyone going, stay safe out there. I think it's gonna be like 150 degrees or something insane. Mix in a water and for the love of god do not take a poop in one of those porta potties.
Happy Summer, everyone!