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Breaking News: Nobody Wants To Work Anymore

ALERT THE MEDIA! FIRE UP THE PRINTING PRESS! Hot hot HOT news coming out of Twitter today, letting us all know that nobody wants to work anymore. An enormous surprise for us all. I thought people loved working? Loved waking up at 7am after 5 hours of sleep, drinking coffee until their hearts explode just to be able to commute for an hour to their desk job, where they sit punching numbers an excel spreadsheet, only unchained for 30 minutes or so to grab a shitty sandwich for lunch, that they'll likely eat at their desk alone while listening to a famous sports podcast or something, until they can return home in the dark and do it all again. People LOVE that shit, what is Twitter talking about?

The extremely obvious outcome of this pandemic. Nobody wants to work anymore. We're all depressed, we were stuck at home and we made it clear we could do our jobs just fine from our beds. The go-getters made home offices, did yoga, actually made "work from home" a legitimate option. The rest of us still wake up 5 mins before the first team call, lay in bed until lunch time and pray that nobody asks us to do more work than the absolute bare minimum. It's been a little over a year since I got laid off of my "real" job, and I'm so scarred this all still feels like it was yesterday. I can't imagine being back in it. And now they're opening offices back up? People have to shower, get dressed, and socialize? You have to control your eye rolls at your boss again, because you're back together in person? I wouldn't want to work either. Let's all just jet off to our individual private islands and live the rest of our days in solitude.