The Definitive List of the Worst Dates for a Birthday

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Today is my birthday. I honestly haven't really cared about my birthday at all for several years, other than the fact that I'm a little more than mildly annoyed that about 10 years or so ago, my day was hijacked by Star Wars.

I don't remember exactly when it happened, but at some point in the very recent past, everybody just decided that today was going to be all about Star Wars. And as someone who didn't really care about Star Wars one way or another, this practice actively turned me against the franchise as a child because everybody started carrying around lightsabers and shit on my birthday.

Now this is obviously just a mild annoyance that nobody other than myself cares about, but it got me thinking about what the worst dates your birthday could fall on would be. So here is my list.

1. Any day from December 10-31

I feel so sorry for anyone with a birthday that gets lumped in with Christmas. As an adult, I actually think this might be an enjoyable time period to have your birthday, but as a kid this is just absolute worst-case scenario. I would hope that parents would still keep the occasions separate, but you're getting one card and gift from everybody else. Every child's worst nightmare.

2. September 11

I mean … yeah. Bit of a tough day to celebrate.

3. February 29

Your birthday only actually exists once every four years? What a crock of shit. And then on the years you do get a real birthday, you have to deal with everybody saying, "Hey, how does it feel to finally be six?!" Just that joke alone would make me yearn for the years when I had to celebrate my birthday in a completely different month.

4. April 1

Much in the same vein as Leap Day, the jokes on this date would be unbearable. Plus, it probably makes you even more of a target to get messed with. I'm not envious.

5. February 14

Any birthday when you're single after college is going to be the worst day ever. And nobody wants to go out and do anything because they're all busy doing romantic shit with the significant other that you don't have. Once you get snatched up, this becomes better, though.

Honorable Mention:

- April 15
- December 7
- August 1/First day of school

Anyway, I don't care that it's my birthday unless people want to wish me a happy birthday. May the 4th Be With You.