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Hallelujah Praise The Lord! Chicago Set To Fully Reopen July 4th

NBC Chicago - Chicago is on track to be "fully open" by the Fourth of July holiday, the city's mayor announced Tuesday.

During a press conference celebrating the return of the Chicago Auto Show this summer, Illinois' first large convention since the start of the pandemic, Lightfoot said the city aims to be "one of the first cities to fully and safely reopen in the nation."

"Every day that our COVID-19 metrics continue to tick downward, raises the day closer to be able to put this pandemic in the rearview mirror, and we are too close to accomplishing this mission to give up now," Lightfoot said. "Our goal, ladies and gentlemen, is to be fully open by July, 4. I am working night and day toward this goal, as is our public health department, but we and I need you to continue to be on this journey with us, and that means getting vaccinated now, as soon as possible."

“We have seen steady progress in recent weeks with a downward trend in our leading COVID metrics and more and more people stepping up to get vaccinated, which is so important in getting us out of this pandemic,” Chicago Department of Public Health Commissioner Dr. Allison Arwady said in a statement. “That has made this exciting day possible.” 

What a day to be alive. 

Our overlords have officially given us a crumb. A big crumb. A light at the end of the tunnel even. And what better day for it to be than America's Fucking Birthday?

Not sure if the people outside of Chicago are aware of it or not, but the city dumps their tits out, metaphorically speaking, every Wednesday and Saturday evening during the warm weather months, in the form of fireworks over Lake Michigan.

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It's a great reminder that we live in the best summertime city on the planet (save the gun violence, corruption, car jackings, outrageous taxes, etc). And they also do a great job of drowning out the gunshots for 20 minutes.

But the point is, we went all summer last year without fireworks. It was like cutting a dogs balls off. Yah we were still walking around and doing dog stuff- pissing on shrubs, playing fetch, and sniffing assholes, but we couldn't really fuck anything. Now that we have our fireworks back that all changes.

This summer will go down in history as the greatest of all time. And Fourth Of July Weekend (The 4th is on a Sunday this year) will be the official blast off. 

I want everybody to watch the Pacino speech from "Any Given Sunday" and tattoo on your brains. 

This summer is all about inches. We only have a finite amount of time, and every little moment might seem minuscule on its own, but you can't afford to waste one single one of them. Because they all add up. And there's no getting them back. 

We're talking BBQs on your deck/roof/backyard/stoop on a random Tuesday for the hell of it, day drinking Monday - Thursday not just Fri-Sun, turning Sunday Funday afternoons back into a spectacle of debauchery like it was a few years ago in the city, packing the fuck out of Wrigley and Comiskey ballparks every game, and supporting the fuck out of the neighborhood bars and restaurants that suffered like fucking crazy and stuck it out through this whole ordeal. Tie one on often, and tip generously. Karma is real. 

Shoot your shot with as many girls/guys/non-binaries as possible. Live like there's no tomorrow because who knows when these assholes will lock us down and tell us they know what's best for us again. 

We've been through hell and back, but we made it! And we're stronger for it!

Chicago is (almost) back people! 

Giphy Images.