Yes, Lord Farquaad Popped A Boner In Shrek. Be Cool About It

So this video has gone super viral with people crying about it ruining their childhoods or their actual lives. But even though I hate the living shit out of that Napoleonic fuckface Lord Farquaad, can we just pump the brakes a bit? If a man can't get some wood in the privacy of his own boudoir, where can he get it? It doesn't matter if it's a fictional movie or a kid's movie. Boners are real. In fact, here's a little biology lesson for you. Every single character in Shrek (except for perhaps The Gingerbread man I suppose) shot out of a boner once upon a time and into the loving whispering eye of his/her mother. That's not a bonk, it's just a stone cold fact of life and the arts. Yes, that includes ogre sex.

Giphy Images.

Okay, that got a little extreme. But the point remains. Sex is real in all movies, especially in ones that have animators working crazy hours on movies for children which results in hiding the word sex in some pollen.

A casual fingerbanging joke involving Prince.

And like a million more of them.

So if you have a problem with Farquaad let it be because he huffed and puffed and signed an eviction notice for the Three Little Pigs or was a gigantic piece of shit to everyone inside and outside of his kingdom. But give the man a break for plumping like a Ballpark hot dog while looking at his crush after a few martinis in a DreamWorks movie, which is a much more heathenish company than Disney.