As we read the thoughts of this man, Jonathan Vonboskerck, today about how his multiple yearly Disney World experiences are being ruined by the new "woke" guidelines for cast members — it's basically just that they can show some tattoos and wear mildly different costumes and the fact that a couple rides have been slightly altered — I am reminded of the wise words of a random Twitter user from a couple years ago:
Well, our man Jonathan is today's main character after being upset enough about these new regulations at Walt Disney World to write an op-ed in the Orlando Sentinel about what an amazing customer Disney is going to lose.
And let me say this off the top: I love Disney World. I don't give a damn what anyone says, that place is awesome. But it's awesome because there are cool rides and great food and drinks and people generally having a good time. If you're a grown man — who doesn't work for Disney — and actually care about the "immersion" of a fucking theme park, you're a maladjusted adult.
But it seems that's exactly what we have in our friend Jonathan. Here are some of my favorite excerpts from this guy's masterpiece.
Orlando Sentinel — Unfortunately, I am strongly rethinking our commitment to Disney and, thus, Orlando. The more Disney moves away from the values and vision of Walt Disney, the less Disney World means to me. Disney is forgetting that guest immersion is at the core of its business model. When I stand in Galaxy’s Edge or Fantasyland, I know I am in a theme park but through immersion and my willingness to set the real world aside, something magical happens.
Recently, Disney announced that cast members are now permitted to display tattoos, wear inclusive uniforms and display inclusive haircuts. Disney did all of this in the name of allowing cast members to express themselves.
The problem is, I’m not traveling across the country and paying thousands of dollars to watch someone I do not know express themselves. I am there for the immersion and the fantasy, not the reality of a stranger’s self-expression. I do not begrudge these people their individuality and I wish them well in their personal lives, but I do not get to express my individuality at my place of business.
Disney World is going to lose us as customers if it continues down this path. I do not want to have Disney World taken away from us because Disney cares more about politics than happy guests.
I'm truly fascinated by this guy. Disney changed one scene on Pirates of the Caribbean and might change the theme of Splash Mountain from a 1946 movie — with what can best be described as a questionable level of re-watchability — to one from 2009 that kids actually know and Jonathan is ready to throw it all away. Disney executives are currently quaking in their boots over the fact he won't be riding Pirates of the Caribbean anymore.
I'm mostly just sad for my guy Jonny. He's down so bad. Won't somebody think of the grown adults with a Disney obsession and unwillingness to accept any minor change?