The Race Is Still On For That Sick Bastard Auston Matthews To Score 50 In 56

Think about how many human beings have lived throughout the history of the world. And then try to think about how many people have scored, let's just say, 5 or more goals in the National Hockey League. It has to be a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of humans ever. Moral of the story is that scoring a goal in the NHL has to be one of the most rare accomplishments anybody could achieve. Not only do you have to be good enough to make it to the NHL, but you then need to be good enough to get a puck past some of the best goalies on the planet. It shouldn't be easy. 

Yet that sick son of a bitch Auston Matthews makes it look like a goddamn walk in the park. Like it's as casual as taking a piss when you wake up in the morning. 34 goals in 43 games played so far this season for #34. If he didn't miss a few games he'd probably hit the 40 mark already. 

This maniac is making a mockery out of the league right now. He has 8 more goals than anybody else in the league and nobody can keep pace. It's like watching Usain Bolt in Beijing. 

So now Toronto has 9 more games left in the regular season. They haven't technically clinched their playoff spot yet, but they're leading the North. So I think it's only right that Sheldon Keefe just let's Auston Matthews go full blown Rockstar Mode for these final 9 games. He needs 16 more goals to hit 50. So just let him camp out at the blueline every shift and tee off every time he gets to the top of the circles. I want Auston Matthews to have double digit shots in every game he plays for the rest of the regular season. Get to 50, you bastard. We need it. 

By the way--lotta sandpaper on this Toronto roster right now. 

Starting to think this might be the year for Toronto. Perfect blend of grease and silk for the playoffs. It's going to happen. And Toronto is going to be so damn insufferable about it. 

@JordieBarstool