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Point, Humans: A YouTuber Trained One Of Those Boston Dynamics Robot Dogs To Piss Beer Into A Cup


That's one small piss for man, one giant piss for mankind. John Connor ain't got shit on Michael Reeves, who took all that fear we've had of these yellow nightmares, ran it through a mechanical urethra, and came out with ice cold delicious beer on the other end. Save me all the people talking about all the dribble this good boy left around the cup too from their glass houses too. There's a reason why Paulie Walnuts went on this rant, which is a Top 5 Sopranos rant in my book, which is no small feat.

Anyway, back to those demonic digital dogs. I have hated those fuckers since the moment they hit the internet. The feeling I get in the pit of my soul when they walk around is the polar opposite of the warmth that same pit feels when a real dog walks into a room and Pat blogged earlier today about everyone freaking out that the NYPD having one of these four-legged predators on the force.

However, this video proves to me that maybe those programmable pooches aren't all that bad since we are still at the point where we can make them do stupid stuff like pissing beer in cups. Our time as the Alpha in this relationship may not last forever or even that long. But when the machines inevitably attack and wipe humanity off the planet forever, at least I will be drunk enough off robot dog beer piss to even care.

*Steps back from keyboard*

Now THAT is a sentence I did not expect to write today, which in this line of work at this company, is admittedly pretty much something that happens every single day. Now that I think about it, how did nobody at this company buy one of these dogs to piss various liquids in various containers/mouths of Barstool employees on Lower The Bar. I mean KFC bought a flamethrower and Big Baller Brand shoes on presale way before Penn dropped their giant dick and checkbook on the table. Vibbs, get your shit together and then get the corporate card from Nardini because we need a Boston Dynamics dog ASA motherfucking P (while I safely watch what happens from the Casa de Clem north of The Wall).