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True Love No Longer Exists: The Scottish Dude Who Got Arrested For Traveling 4.5 Hours By Jet Ski To See His Girlfriend, Has Now Dumped Said Girl

I wrote this blog in December. I was convinced we saw the greatest couple of all time. A guy from Scotland out here escaping lockdown rules to jetski FOUR AND A HALF HOURS to see this girl he met. Also shows how much power women have over us idiots. You promise us a good time and some food and bam we're on a jet ski. But let's fast forward to now when the sun is shining, it's golf season, the weather is better. Annnnddddd

OH NO! My original blog said true love exists. It does not. It's dead. It does not exist. I'm questioning every relationship I ever had after finding out that this happened. You don't just jet ski for 4.5 hours and ruins your balls to break up once the weather turns. This isn't freshman year of college. Of course you say you'll 'stay together during summer break.' You don't. You don't even make it to summer break, because it's college. 

But back to this story. Apparently he went to go see a wild girl. Jessica Radcliffe is an alleged bad bitch who is facing charges of assaulting another woman on the island. (h/t Post)

The lovesick British Romeo who rode a jet ski across the Irish Sea to be with a new gal pal has reportedly broken up with the woman – who has been slapped with assault charges in the Isle of Man.

Last week, Radcliffe made a virtual appearance in a court in her hometown of Douglas to face charges of actual bodily harm and causing criminal damage in connection with an attack on another women on the island, the news outlet reported.

I'm not one to give relationship advice, but if I'm ole Dale here, I'm staying 4.5 hours away. Why? First, it's 4.5 hours. Second, you're now the guy who will do anything for women. You're the jet ski guy. You'll do just fine in your hometown without having to ride 4.5 hours on a jet ski. Just hang out at the bars, drop that you're the guy from time to time or have your friend mention that you rode a jet ski for 4.5 hours. The girls will swoon over you buddy, swoon. 

At least they lasted a few months. Now they get to enjoy single life when the weather is turning. That's the move. Have a summer, Dale. Have a summer.