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Experts: "Get Ready For The Whoring 20s" As New York Braces For "Slutty Summer"

NY Post - A few weeks ago, Ashwin Deshmukh saw something he hadn’t in over a year: 

“Uhhhh it’s happening. Host is escorting a couple out of a soho restaurant for bathroom shenanigans. They met outside an hour ago,” he tweeted. 

Twitter had one response: New York is back. 

The bathroom hookup is just the start of a wave of debauchery that’s about to hit the city. 

“People are just ready to go,” Deshmukh, a partner at hot spots Short Stories and Williamsburg Pizza, told The Post. Right now, there is an “infinite demand” for partying, he said. 

Some have dubbed it “slutty summer” or “the whoring ’20s.” Others have proclaimed that we’re in for a “Shot Girl Summer,” inspired by the viral Megan Thee Stallion song “Hot Girl Summer.” No matter what you call it, 1967’s Summer of Love isn’t going to have anything on 2021. With all New Yorkers over 16 eligible to be vaccinated and bars and restaurants opening, city dwellers have one thing planned for this summer: getting it on.

“This summer is about having lots of sex,” Serena Kerrigan, who runs the Instagram dating show “Let’s F – – king Date,” told The Post. “Everyone’s getting vaccinated, everyone’s horny, everyone’s sick of virtual [dating].” 

Sexual releases are historically the norm after pandemics, said Nicholas Christakis, a sociologist, physician and Yale professor.

“Typically, if you look at centuries of plagues, there’s a party at the end,” he told The Post. “When the epidemics of the bubonic plague ended, there was dancing in the streets.”

No you didn't mistakenly click on a Call Her Daddy article.

I'm gonna keep banging that drum that this is going to be the greatest summer of all time so anything that plays into my case will be blogged and documented.

"Whoring 20s" has quite the ring to it. Well played NY Post, as usual.

I am not a single guy, but for those of yous that are, you're about to embark on the greatest 3 months of your life. You have 52 days until Summer unofficially kicks off with Memorial Day. From that point on until Labor Day it's going to be a nonstop party. 

Get your ass in shape, get some new clothes, find a good hair stylist. Put in just enough effort and I promise you it will pay for itself in spades.

None of these chicks are looking for boyfriends this summer.

Straight from the horse's mouth-

But don’t confuse slutty summer with cuffing season.

“Being cooped up for such a long time, I think I don’t have the desire to be in a relationship. In the short term, I have no interest in something serious,” said Eva Silverman, 24. “My goal is to meet as many people as possible.”

Translation = they want to get their numbers up.

And those are just the "normal" girls. 

If you want to talk about the freaks, we got you-

Things are also picking up at local sex clubs. Melissa Vitale and Tiana North, who goes by Tiana GlittersaurusRex, headed to NSFW last weekend for a “play party.”

North, who runs a nonprofit that benefits sex workers, is eager, but selective, as she returns to the dating scene. “I’ve always been this girl who is go with the flow, down for whatever, jump into the orgy pile,” North, 32, told The Post. “Now, it has to be the right orgy pile, the right connection.”

For Vitale, getting down and dirty isn’t just a want, but a collective need.

What's the difference between an orgy and an orgy pile? Anybody familiar? 

Nonetheless seems like there's about to be a lot of fucking going on this summer so get your dick game up.