"I'm Back" - Michael Jordan" - Joel Hans Embiid

So let's take a step back real quick and just look at Philly sports on a whole last night. 

The Flyers played a perfectly fine first 2 periods against the Bruins, but ultimately ended up losing in regulation after giving up a shorthanded goal in the 3rd period. The Phillies played a perfectly first 6 innings against the Mets, but ultimately ended up losing after Vince Velasquez walked the bases loaded then walked in a run after striking out the side just one inning earlier. So in a typical year, you could count on the full Philly meltdown being finalized with an agonizing Sixers defeat at the hands of the Boston Celtics. 

The issue with that is Joel Embiid is simply too much man to allow any of that to happen. If you were expecting a total "sports are bad and we're all idiots for caring" night, then you must have forgot that Joel Embiid is on a goddamn mission this year. And you also must have forgot that the Celtics just flat out don't have a single soul on their roster who is able to keep up with this stallion. 

But while we're on the subject of Philly sports meltdowns, let me just reiterate to all of you how important it is for the Flyers to suck at this moment. There are rules here in Philly. And the #1 rule is that all 4 teams can't be great at the same time. In fact, there is only ever really room for one (1)--perhaps two (2) at most--teams to be a wagon in this city at the same time. The moment that everything starts to go too well for all of the teams at once, that's when shit really goes off the rails. So in order for the Sixers to have their best chance at going on a championship run, the Flyers need to play like dog shit. Honestly I thought they even played a little too well in the first 40 minutes of last night's game. Brotherly Love is all about sacrificing your own season for the greater good of the city. Brotherly Love is all about Vince Velasquez being the most consistently inconsistent human beings to ever throw a baseball.