If You Get A +1 To A Wedding It Should Be 100% Acceptable To Bring A Wingman If You Don't Have A Significant Other

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I have a big wedding to attend at the end of May. It was pushed back a year and now that I am half-vaccinated (nbdddddd) I decided this morning "shit, I guess I'll go to the wedding". But seeing as I'm a wild stallion who can't be locked down by nobody, I have been staring at the +1 option for a good hour. And then it dawned on me- why are plus 1's limited to significant others? Why do you have to be in a relationship or married to bring someone to a wedding? If you are granted the option to bring someone, shouldn't you be allowed to bring anyone you want? The unwritten rules of +1's are so outdated. I shouldn't be penalized because I'm a single man! I should get to bring whomever I want, guy or girl, relationship or not. 

Most of the time weddings are fun, even if you're by yourself. But if you're my age (32), most people already have a wife and kids. And they are fun to hang with, no doubt, because it's the one weekend a year they get away from it all and are allowed to cut loose. But they still have that married couple mentality- they aren't doing the after party or the after after party. "Gotta be in by midnight for the drive home tomorrow"- we've all heard your high school buddy say that as you remember the time he shotgunned a 4 Loko. And not one of the new kinds, the kind that Congress banned because they were so unsafe. 

So why not wipe the stigma of the +1 completely clear, and start giving the option of a wedding buddy? Or better yet, a wingman? I get it- weddings are expensive blah blah blah. But again, should the single folks be penalized for being single? Or should I just choose one of the many, many, many females that are pining to lock me down and bring her? How would I choose which one? That's why you should be allowed to just bring a buddy. To bring a Trent. Barstool Trent is probably the best wingman in the game. The single girls flock to him because he's the Luggage Guy, but he's also always looking out for his homies. All you gotta do is put on a little St. Lunatics and it goes from

 

 

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So let's end the stigma. Let's make +1's open to anyone and everyone. Imagine you just roll up to a wedding with Barstool Trent? This actually sounds like a great business idea. Professional +1s. It's the Cameo for weddings. Wow, billion dollar idea right there. Brilliant.