Thank You To All The Stoolies For Trying To Get Me A Date With TikTok Star Susi Vidal #OnlyPans

Here I was just minding my own business when the TikTok algorithm sank it's tentacles into my brain and led me on a path for about 37 minutes of mindless scrolling until I was brought to Susi Vidal. Just absolutely cute as a button and living on the internet. This is the definition of a potato sack girl. I figured that since a lot of our audience has yet to cross over to the world of TikTok I'd bring her presence to twitter. Rudely, I met by the horny police 

"Oh Chief, is she even an adult?"

Oh I don't know, maybe let her answer that for herself

You see…she is ALMOST 23. Then I got hit with the follow up questions like

"So she's almost 23. Aren't you almost 35? Aren't you way too old to say you have a crush on a 22 year-old tiktok star?"

Haven't you ever heard the rule "half your age +7"? Well when I am 40 and she is 28 we would finally qualify for that rule and what a nice 5th anniversary treat that would be. 

I am a horngry guy. Everyone knows that by now. I've probably tweeted about Giada 100x in my life. It's just one of my many weaknesses. This account does something for me. Stares in the camera and calls you babe like it's just you and her in the kitchen. A cool nose ring girl saying that. One of a kind. Anyways…

It's an unlikely romance, but I just want to thank all of the real stoolies who tried to help a guy out

You guys are the real ones and maybe…it worked


I feel like I am Michael Scott