Steve Cohen And Francisco Lindor Apparently Had Dinner Together Last Night To Discuss Lindor's Contract Extension. Cohen Got The Ravioli, Lindor Got The Chicken Parm, And I Got A Boner While Reading This Report

I mean come on, you can't have a bunch of tweets about the Mets potentially locking up a superstar for the next decade highlighted by a bunch of Italian food and expect someone like me not to have blood flowing to all the right places (Sources at the restaurant have also told me that Billy likes to drink soda and Miss Lippy's car is green). 

Yes I am as disappointed as I am confused that someone could screw up ravioli, but I don't imagine St. Lucie is overflowing with Italian joints worthy of Michelin stars. However, I cannot put into words how much I love that the future of my franchise is in the hands of someone that would order chicken parm with his new boss. It may not be the fanciest dish on the menu, but it always fucking delivers. If Francisco Lindor can play like chicken parm during his time in Flushing, the Mets will be hanging multiple banners at Citi Field.

To be honest, I'm not even worried about the Mets signing Francisco Lindor before Opening Day and it's not even because Bobby Axe doesn't take someone out to dinner unless he knows he's closing a deal. Francisco Lindor can use that Opening Day deadline to play hardball with a billionaire all he wants. But I know, Uncle Stevie knows, and everybody in the Tri-State area knows that once Frankie tries any of the countless elite chicken parms in the five boroughs, he will be signed, sealed, and delivered with an extra $300+ million in his pocket in exchange for his signature. 

I know Mets fans have been nervous about this deal because they are nervous about literally everything due to decades of dogshit. But I am here to tell them that everything is going to be okay, even if I have to head to Florida to finish things out myself. #WhateverItTakes

NOW HIT THE MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC!!!

I cannot waiiiiiiiiiiit for Lindor to see us savage Mets fans losing their minds to this song every home game for the rest of his career. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.