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Maine Is Working On A Proposal That Would Allow People To Have Funeral Pyres Like Vikings And Jedi

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Press Herald- A measure before the state Legislature this session would allow Mainers to choose a death ritual that stretches back to ancient times but has largely vanished from modern-day America: outdoor cremations. If adopted, it would let people in the Pine Tree State choose to go out like a Jedi or a Viking king in a blaze of glory in the open air.

Anyone who has watched “Game of Thrones” or “The Phantom Menace” has seen at least a fictional funeral pyre, with bodies cremated on a bed of timber in a sometimes-elaborate ceremony. It’s a way of sending off the dead that’s still widely practiced in some parts of the world but there are only two sites in the United States where it’s legal, both in Colorado, only one of them public. It’s limited to no more than a dozen funerals annually.

Alright Maine, I see you! Trying your best to get out of the shadow of your New England neighbors by being known as more than the state with the awesome lobster, which may not be the best lane to be in once the full economic impact of the last year are felt. So why not be the state where you can send your loved one to the afterlife with a ceremony reserved for the greatest warriors (both fictional and nonfictional) that the world has ever seen? Maine instantly becomes a significantly more badass state if/when this bill passes by legalizing something that feels much more like Montana or either of the Dakotas than something that can legally be done on the East Coast.

In fact, this feels like it could be Maine's time to really throw its weight around and become a powerhouse member of the Union. I didn't realize citizens of Maine were called Mainers, which is pretty fucking cool. Their state motto is "Diodor" which means "I lead" in Latin is kinda lame, but they can just take "Live Free Or Die" from New Hampshire because what the hell are they gonna do about it. And being located on a corner lot of the good ol' US of A should allow Maine some extra freedoms with what goes on inside of its borders, like burning dead bodies and sending their ashes into the clouds, since there are less nosy states butting into their business and you know those polite lads in Canada won't say a goddamn thing to them. This is Maine's time to rise from the ashes like a phoenix and those ashes are a bunch of dead humans who wanted to be burnt in the open air.

I am buying all the Maine stock I can, even if a good chunk of that is because I love how badass it was when The Blackfish did this on Thrones.