Metro- This mother learnt the hard way that you shouldn’t breastfeed too soon after a spray tan. Gemma Colley, from Leeds, went for a spray tan at her local beauty salon and accidentally turned her baby’s face orange. She had waited a few hours for the tanning product to dry, and thought it would be okay to breastfeed her baby son. Of course, it really wasn’t. Gemma shared a photograph of her baby, complete with tanned mouth, nose and chin, on the Facebook page of blog The Unmumsy Mum with the comment ‘epic fail of fails’. She wrote: ‘Yesterday I had a spray tan, a few hours later I breastfed my little boy. Cue 5 o’clock shadow and a very guilty mummy.’ The post received more than 1,000 likes and has since been shared more than 23,000 times, despite the picture only being posted 17 hours ago. Luckily, his unintentional tan eventually wore off.
Whoops! Ahhhhhh the great dilemma for new moms. They want to prove to the world that they can bounce back from a pregnancy like THAT. Instantly. They wanna prove that just because they popped another human being out that they can still look hot. So what do they do? Yep, hit the gym. Work off that baby fat so you can strut around at the next family holiday and people will say things like, “You look AMAZING, Gemma. Like really AMAZING. Can’t even tell you shoved a human life form out of your vagina just two days ago.” But going to the gym isn’t enough. These new moms have to get rid of that sickly pale color that comes along with having an entire other human sucking nutrients from their body at every turn. So they go get a spray tan done to get that weird fake golden orange color so people will comment on Facebook pictures about how great they look after squeezing a living thing through a way-too-small hole. Then, oops, feeding time comes and the spray tan hasn’t quite dried yet but the baby’s gotta eat annnnnnnnd he gets a spray tan facial. Live and learn I guess. That’s just the price you pay for beauty.
PS- The baby’s far in that picture is priceless. Like, “I came here for food and now I look like a total asshole.”