I AM IN LOVE WITH BRAD UNDERWOOD'S UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS BASKETBALL TEAM

I've been hammering a lot of merchandise promotions for the Illini today and rightfully so. The #1 seed Illini have absolutely bulldozed the field and come into March as an unstoppable force. Of course we're going to throw the alumni base a bone with some late 90's crewnecks fresh from a mock Brad Underwood defensive positioning camp. 

Elsewhere though I'd be remiss not shut up for five fucking seconds to actually look at the bracket and digest our next week together. Alexa get to work. 

To be clear the biggest competition against Illinois in the Midwest region is my drunk self last night dealing with a losing Florida State ticket

And that could come back to haunt me (MAYBE) but first we need to beat an overmatched Drexel while Loyola-Chicago takes the night off. I'll cross my Georgia Tech bridge when I get there but at least I'm here admitting it like a man. I AM READY FOR THE YELLOW JACKETS. 

But first you have to go through the toughest bitch on planet on Earth

Tom Pennington. Getty Images.

That's a woman with enough gas to send you to hell so be careful with how quickly you want to look past her while tagging Old Takes Exposed. She doesn't forget. 

Me? 

I went to Illinois. I'm a winner (right now) and when I look at the bracket I first have to take a victory lap because here's the last 6 times Illinois played a game: 

How's a mathematical win margin of FIFTEEN FUCKING POINTS against an average 4 seed in the NCAA tournament? I'd say that's pretty good guys. I know you want to talk shit to me right now but let's just admit that's pretty damn good. 

Thank you Brad Underwood for bringing these numbers to life. If we can keep momentum going and survive the opening round, we're in a Sweet 16 with the best of some ugly Cinderellas. The best competition is OK State at #4 and you're basically asking Brad Underwood to fire up the boys to beat a one-man show. 

No disrespect but they just put Luka Garza on a bus and he's on a notably better team with much thinner position to defend. Illinois has a literal laundry list of guys they can throw at Cunningham defensively, and one them is Ayo - a guy whose stock can only be put on the Penn National growth chart in comparison. I'm sure he'd love a chance to shut the freshman down but again we'll cross that bridge later. 

For now I just wanted to remind everyone AGAIN that this is what the last 6 out looks like for Illinois 

I-L-L 

I-N-I