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For The Love Of God, Stop Singing To Your Music At The Gym

SanneBerg. Getty Images.

You wouldn't be able to tell this by looking at me, but I go to the gym pretty regularly. Not necessarily to stay in shape, but just so I can drink beers and eat BBQ on the weekend without ending up looking like Mac in season 7 of Always Sunny. So I go to a standard "30 bucks a month, come in and do whatever you want but just try to re-rack the weights when you're done" gym. The type of gym for normal people just trying to get a normal workout in. 

Those workouts immediately get ruined when some dickface is in the gym putting on a personal concert for himself while he somehow has "just one more set" on seemingly every goddamn piece of equipment in the building. Treating the whole place like he's auditioning for The Voice while curling in the squat rack. Out of every villain that the gym has to offer, the Gym Singer is quite possibly the biggest asshole of them all. 

You have your guys who don't re-rack their weights. You have your guys who don't wipe their sweat off the bench. You have your guys who offer unsolicited advice. All of those guys are varying degrees of careless. But the Gym Singer? Well the Gym Singer is reckless. The Gym Singer is dangerous. Unfortunately, the Gym Singer is also probably the last guy who you'd want to tell to shut up because he's such a wildcard that you have no idea how he'll react to such a request. 

If you lack the social awareness to realize that you're annoying the shit out of literally everybody around you by singing along to the music you're blasting at full volume, then you probably also lack the social awareness it takes to not bash someone in the face with a 45lb plate after they politely ask you to stop singing. So I'm certainly not going to be the guy who asks the Gym Singer to turn down the volume a little bit in person. I'm just going to passively aggressively blog about it later. The last thing I need is some psycho holding down the bar on my throat while I'm benching because I was slightly irritated listening to him butcher some Kanye lyrics for the past 30 minutes. 

But we need to figure out a way to put an end to this egregious breach of gym etiquette once and for all. It's going to take a team effort. If we all band together to collectively tell the Gym Singers to just listen to the shitty music blaring in their headphones instead of performing it, then we stand a chance. United with stand, divided we continue to have our workouts ruined and be tortured by these maniacs who have no idea how to behave in a society. 

@JordieBarstool