The Geniuses At Twitter Are Planning On Changing The Game By Creating a Delete Button That You Have To Pay For

Valentin Wolf. Shutterstock Images.

For a long time people on Twitter have voiced for an edit button. Nothing worse than sending a Tweet and finding out you have a typo. Sometimes those typos are harmless and bring out the grammar police, sometimes they're harmful and portray the exact opposite of what you were trying to send out. We're all idiots who can't spell or type or use Twitter well. 

Well, Twitter got to work. They met in their boardroom. The very same one where they decided to change the 'like button' from stars to hearts. Or the time they expanded to 240 characters giving stupid people even more space to say stupid things. Well now that they've had some more time to think, they've done it. The answer to all our problems….

A delete button! But not just any delete button like the one we currently have, but a delete button you have to pay for! 

They've done it again! Those useless motherfuckers have somehow come up with an even dumber idea than the past. Credit to them. 

Twitter is testing an “undo send” function that would give users a short time to withdraw a tweet before it is posted, the company confirmed Friday. App researcher Jane Manchun Wong, who discovers unannounced social media features by looking at the sites’ code, tweeted an animation showing a tweet with a spelling error where an ‘undo’ button was available before a short timer ran out.

Oh so before every tweet I'm going to get a prompt saying 'are you sure you wanna tweet that?' And I have to pay for that? Fuck outta here. I don't know about you, but anytime I get a prompt like that on a website or app I completely ignore it and move forward full speed ahead.  For the love of god just add an 'edit button' that expires after a minute. Is it really that hard Jack? No one is paying for a delete button. No one. How could that possibly be the best idea they came up with? It's almost impressive. 

P.S. Realistically Twitter could charge whatever they wanted for their services and I'd pay. I don't know how I'd stay current with the world without it. It's sadly a way of life now and I'm stuck. 

P.P.S. If we all just deleted Twitter no doubt we'd all live happier lives. It's a fucking hellscape is what it is and we're all prisoners. Dammit.