Introducing Your New Objects of Desire Taking Over All Social Media: The Granfluencers

Source - They’re Instagrannies. 

Shilling on social media is no longer just a young person’s game. 

Web-savvy seniors called granfluencers are racking up thousands, even millions, of Instagram followers — along with mountains of money — by posting pics of themselves in scintillating outfits and other celeb-worthy snaps. 


“Been stealing your man since 1928,” reads the tag line for the Instagram page of 92-year-old Helen Ruth Elam of Knoxville, Kentucky — known as baddiewinkle on the platform. ...

First hitting the internet’s radar at the ripe old age of 85, the mother of one currently boasts 3.6 million Instagram followers and sponsorships that net her up to $9,815 per promo, the Daily Front Row reported. 

... Not to be outdone, 67-year-old Lyn Slater boasts almost 800,000 gawkers on the ‘Gram. The associate law professor at New York’s Fordham University achieved internet fame accidentally (hence her ‘Gram handle “accidental icon”) when photographers mistook her for a fashionista at a fashion event, AARP Disrupt Aging reported. 

Today, Slater’s sponsored posts rake in almost $3K each, proving that while age is just a number, cash most certainly is not. …

Not all the golden girls of Instagram flaunt glitz and glamour. Swoll senior Joan MacDonald, 74, amassed 1.1. million Instagram followers — as well as oodles of workout gear and supplement sponsorships — by documenting her active lifestyle.

The inspiring content includes a clip of the the geriatric gym shark dead-lifting 175 pounds. 

… Not one to let the ladies hog the social media spotlight, 59-year-old educator Irvin Randle generates upward of $1,000 for his swagtastic ‘Gram promos. Randle — aka Mr. Steal Your Grandma — was even featured on “The Wendy Williams Show.” 

Mama se, mama sa, mama coo sa.

I have the utmost respect for women and would never subject the female form to the male gaze. But there are times when animal instinct takes over and you can't resist. This is one of those times. I don't want to objectify these ladies. But when when you're talking about someone bringing the heat like Baddiewinkle, Lyn Slater and Joan MacDonald, what choice do I have? Good lord. Be fair. I'm only flesh and blood. And judging by the power being wielded on the 'Gram by these Granfluencers, I'm obviously in the majority. And for you ladies, the kid Irvin Randle comes along to sweep you off your feet at the tender age of 59. Assuming his back is OK. Which I am, since he's in better shape then me. 

So way to throw down the gauntlet at all the 20-somethings, the same old tired college chicks everybody's sick of, and those barely legals lip syncing to autotuned nonsense on TikTok. A new generation of Influencers had arrived to stake their claim. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Only better. You think they're scared of a skinny girl dancing in cutoffs and a belly shirt or some hootchie in a thong posing by a pool? These gals defeated Hitler, polio and a worldwide Communists conspiracy. They rebuilt Europe under the Marshall Plan, went to the moon and tore down the Iron Curtain. Taking over the Influencer world from these Gen-Zs will be child's play in a literal sense. 

Baddiewinkle didn't walk 10 miles to school with a hot potato in her pocket to keep her warm and then eat the potato for lunch just to give up on this. She'll be selling fashion, jewelry, rheumatoid arthritis pills and adult diapers long past the Ariana Grandes and Selena Gomezes are past their prime. (Assuming her hip doesn't give out.) Lyn Slater will be educating the next generation on the law and on the true definition of sexy for as long as we still have a Constitution. Joan MacDonald will be displaying feats of fitness and strength longer than an immortal Amazonian warrior princess. And Irvin Randle will be making babies long after his grandkids are. 

These Grandfluencers are proving senior citizens really do serve a purpose.