You Can't Call Yourself a True Hardo Until You've Ridden Your Bike Through the Ice and Into the Charles River - Lucas Brunelle, a Boston cyclist and vlogger known for filming dangerous feats on two wheels, recently departed from a parking lot in Allston and rode his bike onto the semi-frozen Charles River.

He made it approximately 800 feet before falling through the ice.

“I ride my bike the same way I trade stocks,” Brunelle said in a phone call. “It’s my nature to take high risks and high return.”

Brunelle’s blunder on February 15, which he shared on YouTube and social media this weekend, apparently did not deter him from hitting the ice again the following week. Social media users spotted a man biking on the river by the Harvard Bridge on Sunday, and Brunelle confirmed it was him. He said the most recent excursion was for a follow-up video which he plans to release soon.

“That one was really epic,” Brunelle said of the ride.  ...

“Because the water is moving, it’s not likely to freeze thick enough to support people recreating on it,” said Julie Wood, the deputy director of the Charles River Watershed Association. 

Slow your roll there, Julie Wood. You might be a big yahoo when it comes to the conditions of the Charles River Watershed. But that doesn't make you an expert on Lucas Brunelle. Danger is his middle name. In case you haven't heard, he rides his bicycle the way he trades stocks. He's all about the risk. He eats, sleeps and breathes that risk. You're not going to get those high returns a man of his ilk craves sticking to the bike lane along Memorial Drive. The only way to get that high octane, testosterone fueled adrenaline rush is to ride that tiger we call a river. 

Besides, the Charles wouldn't dare give Lucas Brunelle hypothermia. It doesn't have the guts to try and kill a man of his stature. In five minutes he would've had the water temperature up to 98.6 just through the heat generated by his nuclear powered testicles. Then he would've changed the course of the mighty river like Superman and simply walked ashore. Or better yet, ridden the bike that he so courageously saved before himself.

So the rest of us can only stand back and admire Brunelle's manly manliness. As we winter in our hovels, more sofa than man, with our mouths around a Cold Snap brushing Cheetos dust off our flabby bellies, he's out there braving the elements. Living on the edge. Going to extremes. The way you only can by trusting that the ice of a major river will hold all your body weight distributed onto two four-inch narrow tires.

So while I might hate myself because I can't compete with Lucas Brunelle's level of machismo, I admire the hell out of him. Even more so now that I know he's climbing right back on that 10 speed horse. Next time he falls through and can't get out, it doesn't matter how many Boston Fire Department members it takes to get out there and rescue him, it'll be worth it. 

Now let's cue "Dirty Water" while we question our own softness in the presence of this true hardo: