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The Chad Johnson Diet Makes A Ton Of Sense For Any Athlete Who Wants A Healthy, Injury-Free Career

 

Wake up, Cam Newton, you've been doing it all wrong. That's the diet of champions right there. Chad Johnson just fixed Cam's career. It isn't a mental thing, it's a diet thing. Cam's been doing it all wrong this entire time. To recap:

Breakfast: McDonald's hot cakes and sausage, sausage McMuffin, large orange juice

Snack: 6 boiled eggs and strawberry frosted Pop Tarts

Lunch: Bahama Breeze jerk chicken pasta, extra chicken, no asparagus 

Snack: Healthy shit, rice cakes or whatever

Dinner: Soul food- Baked fried chicken (3 legs), candied yams, macaroni and cheese, greens, sweet water cornbread, and chocolate cake

That right there? That's a real NFL player's diet. Players these days are so worried about their micros and macros, their % of carbs vs % of fats, blah blah blah blah blah. Eat McDonald's for breakfast like a god damn ADULT, have your Pop Tart/boiled egg snack, and callous up your body with soul food for dinner and you will have a body of iron and steel in no time.

And the best news? Most of us have been eating NFL diets this entire time and didn't even realize it. McDonald's every day? Who knew every blogger in the world should be playing WR. I'll have to work on my snack game, never have I ever eaten 6 boiled eggs in one sitting, but if that'll improve my route running and hands, that is the sacrifice I'm willing to make.