Is Kidnapping Yourself To Get Out Of Work The Best Or Worst Idea Of All Time?

Coolidge Examiner - What at first seemed like an alarming kidnapping is now being treated as a hoax.

On Feb. 10, police responded to reports and found a man, Brandon Soules, near the Coolidge water tower with his hands bound behind his back with a belt and a bandana stuffed in his mouth.

Soules originally told police that two masked men had kidnapped him, hit his head and knocked him unconsciousness. Soules went on to say they had driven him around in a vehicle before leaving him where he was found, in the area of First Street and Northern Avenue.

After Coolidge detectives conducted an extensive investigation, they found evidence showing Soule’s story was fabricated and no kidnapping or assault occurred.

Soules was arrested on Feb. 17 for false reporting to police and reportedly admitted during an interview that he made up the story as an excuse to get out of work.

All due respect to the Coolidge, Arizona police department and Coolidge Examiner beat reporter who covered this story, but this was amateur hour across the board. 

This man wasn't trying to simply get out of work. This looks like a criminal mastermind who faked his own kidnapping to get out of paying a bookie or avoiding a female of some sort (i.e.- girlfriend, mistress, etc).

Seems like he just got tripped up at the 5-yard line here. Everything was going according to plan until the police refused to take his story at face value. They kept digging and Brandon here panicked. 

He couldn't admit he was dodging the sharks or trying to get out of a miserable double date, so he said he was trying to avoid work.

Unless this guy is doing anal swabbing for covid tests there's no job that he would have went to these lengths to avoid. On a Wednesday no less! We're not talking day after the Super Bowl here. We're talking middle of the week. 

Brandon Soules basically pulled the Arizona mouth-breather version of Keyser Söze here. 

A for effort.

Giphy Images.