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I Can't Stop Thinking About This Guy's Nuts

alexa enhance

I was asked to review a gas station run earlier today and you guys know that's in my sweetspot. I don't have the time or patience to make a shitty venn diagram in the free version of apple pages that I haven't updated in 9 months. But if I did then I would show 4 intersecting circles reflecting my twitter engagement interests: snacks, snake drafts, reviewing things on the pizza scale and peanut M&M's. And in the very middle where the 4 circles meet it would say BALTIMORE BURT'S TWEET. Just a textbook magnum opus in getting my attention. 

But as the wheels started to move I nearly fell out of my chair. How do you go so heavy nut in the middle of the day? Assuming a routine $10 budget at your local gas station, I simply can't understand why $5.99 would go to a Planters Deluxe spread, mixed. Gatorade at $2.29 and now your hands are tied. You finish with peanut M&M because it's the bet but then why go Deluxe in the first place? So many questions. Even more nuts. 

Credit where it's due: that's an elite gatorade bottle design. You can lay flat on your back and suck it from the bottle nipple without spilling a drop. Also gatorade has a severely underrated plastic. Extremely smooth and durable providing for a good in-hand experience. 

And nobody's saying you don't get mixed nuts. I'm just surprised they showed up today with these weather conditions. This is a day to be a miserable fat fuck and instead we're riding the nutrition fence with a sports drink and some handhelds from mother nature. From the horse's mouth: 


And I had trouble sleeping before starting this blog.  

Either way I'm still scoring this in the 7's because the quality inputs are there. It may not be the sexy order that wins you a draft but you have some heavy hitters on the coffee table. The sum of their parts is less than their individual numbers which is pretty unique when you think about the world of gas station snacks. But even so I respect their individual strength. Tier 1 candy and beverage. Tier 2 snack. You may think it's weird but I have to say 7.2. 

And in hinesight maybe that 7.2 is too high but there's no take backs around here. 

PS - swap out the mixed nuts with a bag of these then use the savings on a fruit-based gummy snack and you're in the 9's easy.

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