Yesterday was Valentine's Day or some shit. You know how I celebrated it? By getting Mexican food delivered for lunch and chicken tenders delivered for dinner while laying on the couch hungover playing Call of Duty. That, and I was also scrolling through the feeds of myriad IG models telling me that I'm their valentine. It's true too; I really do think I'm the Valentine of each and every one of these girls. They're not looking at you, they're looking at me!!! Fuck all of you who think otherwise.
Speaking of Valentine's Day massacres, I'm about to drag Smitty up and down Verdansk while systematically and methodically murdering enemy combatants 1 by 1. Come check us out.