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Trashy Ex? Book Them A Dumpster Stay This Valentine's Day

But totally not in a murdery way, heh heh

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From Travel & Leisure

Hotels.com is offering heartbroken people of the world the perfect way to tell their "trash exes" exactly what they think of them with a special stay inside a dumpster.

The V-Day Dumpster Stay is, of course, totally fictional. While it may give you pleasure to think of your ex being literally thrown in a dumpster, Hotels.com realizes this might not be very practical or safe. Hey, there are limits to what even a hotel booking website can do.

Instead, you can get the figurative satisfaction of receiving a fake "booking" for your ex in a dumpster while you get a $300 Hotels.com gift card that can be put toward a plush hotel stay for yourself. That is true closure.

Alright so it's just buzzy PR for the Hotels.com brand (which I have clearly fallen for), but basically you give them your info, tell them why your ex was hot garbage, describe your dream hotel stay & then they'll pick 15 winners who get a gift card. The nice thing is that win or lose, you still get that dumpster-stay voucher to send out to someone, so it's still worth it in my eyes.

Hooray! It's not in my inbox yet but one can only hope it's some sort of fancy print-out certificate.

If that's not your cup of tea but you still want to shit on your ex you can do so for a good cause; Just go the Humane Society litter box route. Having felines take dumpers on notes about an old flame for a small donation is a cute idea to cheer up a jilted friend or, as you'll see in some of the notes below, really let loose on the one you hate this Valentine's SZN. 

Here's some of those litter box notes thus far:

Not to pat myself on the back, but the notes inspired me so I even splurged & got one for Barstool Pat who was recently dumped out of the blue with no rhyme or reason. It felt good! (Btw - you can hear all about that in detail on the latest episode of the Out & About Podcast.)

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In what was less supportive & more of an attack on a coworker, I've previously sponsored a Bronx Zoo cockroach in honor of Trent. He banned me from his Ball-in-a-Cup League for messing with his Ball-in-a-Cup apparatus when he wasn't around and I'm still bitter. Several zoos do this now so browse around if that scratches your itch to troll.

Whether it's a dumpster, cat turds or cockroaches I hope you find a special way to belittle an ex this Valentine's weekend, and I hope love still saves the day for you.