Got a big, fat episode of Mailtime for you this week. Bigger and fatter than Juan Uribe’s dick. Just kidding, nothing is bigger and fatter than Dark Sexy’s dick. Plenty of talk about Uribe and his Hog Show, the asshole treasure hunting family that found a million bucks of gold, weird Gothic assholes with the stretched out earlobes, Brady suspension upheld, Arod and Mejia on the juice, and a few words of advice and goals that I’ve set for myself as a new father-to-be. We also do a little bit of Barstool DVR and talk about USA’s new hit show Mr. Robot and we basically put True Detective in the coffin. Jam packed episode, hour and fifteen minutes.
But my main take away from this week’s episode is my theory that guys scouring the beach with metal detectors during the summer are just dads and husbands that want to be left the fuck alone. Its a completely made up “hobby” that allows you to just get out of the house and away from your wife and kids. No CHANCE your wife wants to scan the beach for treasure. Your kids would rather die than walk the beach with their old man. Its the perfect cover to just be left the fuck alone. Think about it – you’ve never seen a woman doing it. You’ve never seen anybody actually find anything. Its a completely fabricated activity made up by fed up annoyed men to avoid any and all contact with people. Not just his family either. All people. Because the last person on earth you’d ever go up to and strike up a conversation would be a metal detector weirdo. Its the perfect cover. Its like that quote from Old School. I golf every Sunday…I HATE golf. Except these guys just buy a fake ass metal detector instead of a whole set of clubs.