Attorney In Zoom Courtroom Can’t Remove His Cat Background But Gives The Judge Assurances That He’s Actually Not A Cat

I dunno if I believe this “dude” or not. Look, I’m a vet but I’m not a veterinarian so I’m not qualified to testify as an expert witness what heretofore will be considered a cat. I’m just not. However, as a cat dad, I can say with full confidence that this “man” is actually a cat.

If he wasn’t a cat, why would he look like one? Hmmm? That’s a question that deserves to be answered. Let’s break this down.

What do cats look like? Furry. Cute. Adorable. Sly. Cunning. Nimble.

If we can all agree on that, look at the video again. Turn your attention to the bottom left corner. Is that creature in the video furry? Yes. Cute? Yes. Adorable? Yes. Sly? Oh you Betcha. Cunning? HA! Extremely. Nimble? Remains to be seen.

5 out of 6 qualifications for being a cat are met. There is a preponderance of evidence that this is a cat attorney. BUT! Part of being a lawyer in good standing is truthfulness in the court. By suggesting that he is not a cat, this cat lawyer must be disbarred and impeached from all hearings.

Due to his disbarment and impeachment, the cat lawyer proves his point in a way. Is he a cat lawyer? Not anymore. He’s just a cat with a shit ton of student loan debt. Those are the facts and they are undisputed.