The Day You Realize You're Fat And You Have To Go The Gym Is One Of The Worst Days Of The Year (SNAKE DRAFT BLOG)
We had the king of misery on the Snake Draft this week to breakdown the worst days of the year and it was a real doozy. Nothing like working with subject matter experts at Barstool. From my appearance on LCB last week to drafting sports divas with Whitney to categorically organizing the worst parts of the calendar with KFC - there's something special about collaborating with people who know their stuff. And that's exactly what this week's draft brings: expertise. 5 guys who spent formative years of their early adulthood being absolutely fucking miserable. Obviously terrible to go through, but the exact kind of groundwork that translates to relatable hatred and a unique bond.
I enjoyed the show. You can listen here.
No spoilers but at some point in the later rounds I try to get really creative much to the chagrin of my comrades (as Ed likes to call us). I figured instead of a fixed day on the calendar, I'd pick a day that we can all generally relate to and that's the day you realize that you've become a fat piece of shit and need to start working out again. It happens a couple times a year but there's usually one very notable day that leads to a 2-4 week solid effort of eating right and working out. I would comfortably say 4/5 men go through this experience on an annual basis. You get some weird bout of motivation and it typically comes around the same time. For me it's one week before Christmas. Comes like clockwork year after year after year.
And to me, the worst day is the day you swallow your pride and go to that gym to lift weights. The day you square up those shoulders on the bench press and realize 135 pounds is a lot heavier when you're old and fat. The day you have to consciously reconcile the fact that the two instagram fitness broads on the adjacent squat rack are approximately 67% stronger than you (right now). The first day you promise to do the ab work when you get home because the studio's too crowded and you need time for your heart rate to come down anyways.
The ab work never gets done
The day you're walking around in a crewneck sweatshirt and sweatpants like a high school JV wrestler trying to cut weight on Friday night. But really you're just hiding years of latent body fat build up that makes working out in a t-shirt amongst all the floor-to-ceiling mirrors virtually impossible. The day you shamefully accept that you should be in much better condition and you're actually willing to endure several days of lactic acid just to start another inevitably unsuccessful exercise routine.
That's one of the worst days of the year and I wish it made it's way on the graphic. I know not your traditional day per the spirit of the draft but even so it's relatable enough to make an impact on my team. So while I don't get it as an official pick, I do get to write 500+ passionate words on the topic which is more than good enough for me. Glad we're all on the same page.
Runner up along the same category is the day you stop your fitness routine because of a minor inconvenience like a hangover or blown hamstring. Then you don't go to the gym for another 3-4 months because you're just way too busy, thus starting the vicious cycle all over again. That day fucking blows too but not nearly as much as the other one.
What day did we miss? Put it in the comment section below for friendly diiscussion.
PS - Draft should be on YouTube later. Go subscribe to the Barstool Chicago page so you don't miss it.