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This Savvy, Silk Robe Wearing Entrepreneur Buys Up Domain Names For All The Plagues and Diseases and Then Sells Them For Profit, Is Currently Trying To Get 150k For Ebola.com

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WaPo - Jon Schultz is a cigarette-thin man who will, upon requests for a photograph, don a ruby robe and strike a regal pose. Schultz is a businessman and he wants to look good. There’s money to be made everywhere — even off tragedy and disaster. For the right kind of entrepreneur, Shultz said Monday night, calamity affords a very unique business opportunity. And Schulz, merchant of disease domains, is that kind of entrepreneur. Name a disease, and there’s a chance Schultz owns it. He has birdflu.com. He has H1N1.com. He has one for the deadly mosquito-borne disease, Chikungunya, and another for Marburg. And finally, there’s the jewel of his trove. Ebola.com, which Schultz bought in 2008 for $13,500. The time for the payout has arrived. Schultz wants $150,000 for Ebola.com — a price he thinks is more than reasonable. “According to our site meter, we’re already doing 5,000 page views per day just by people typing in Ebola.com to see what’s there,” said Schultz, who monitors headlines the way brokers watch their portfolios, to gauge his domain’s worth. “We’re getting inquiries every day about the sale of it. I have a lot of experience in this sort of domain business, and my sense is that $150,000 is reasonable.” “Our domain, birdflu.com, is worth way more than Ebola.com. We’re definitely holding onto that one for the event,” he said, referring to an outbreak he contends could be way bigger than Ebola, turning the owner of birdflu.com into a very rich man. “That one’s airborne and Ebola would never go airborne in the United States like bird flu can.” Schultz has been waiting years for a time like this to turn a profit on Ebola.com. And in the unfortunate event that there is a bird flu or Marburg outbreak, there Schultz will be again, hawking domains of profound tragedy, looking to make money.

 

Ladies and gentleman, your favorite person in the world, Jon Schultz. Silk robes, expensive paintings, and buying up websites of diseases that kill people around the globe. All in a day’s work. So what if Ebola is killing people? Does that mean it shouldn’t make Jon a rich, rich man? Get off your high horses, world. First of all, it’s (pretty much) only killing people in Africa, and they don’t even have the Internet there, so it’s no help really. And yea, so a couple people here have died of it (RIP), but I don’t think ebola.com would have saved their lives. WebMD, ever heard of it? Plus, if you didn’t want to get Ebola, you probably shouldn’t have gotten Ebola. Jon Schulz is only guilty of being smarter than all of us. I just don’t get why he only wants $150,000. Ebola is the new hotness. Capitalize on that shit. Sell some tshirts! What, is it in bad taste to sell tshirts profiting off the tragedy of others? In your dreams. AMERICA!