Nick Saban Would Cheat On His Wife With One Person and One Person Only: "Hilary Fucking Rodham Clinton"

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Such a genius move from Saban here, but then again, what other moves does Saban make? Shouldn’t be much of a surprise that his life advice off the field is just as good as his advice on it.

1) Don’t waste your life chasing pussy, let it come to you.

2) If you haven’t locked up the pussy by midnight, it ain’t happening.

And the best one,

3) Only fuck around with somebody who has as much to lose as you do.

So simple yet so brilliant. Sure you’d expect your coach and mentor to tell you not to sleep around on a significant other, to stay committed no matter what, but hey, Saban’s a pragmatist. This is the real world that he’s trying to get these kids prepared for. People are gonna cheat no matter what you say, might as well give them the best advice you can about it. And make no mistake about it, “you never want to sleep with anybody who has less to lose than you do” is that advice.

Perfect answer from Saban personally too. Is Hilary the hottest woman in the world? Is she the biggest sexual spark plug that revs you up and makes you want to mess around on your wife or girlfriend? Not exactly. But she’s Hilary Fucking Rodham Clinton. The most powerful man in Alabama and the most powerful woman in the world – a match made in cheating heaven. Literally redefining power couple.

Just remember to keep your secret correspondence to texts and phone calls only, Nick. Hilary’s not so good with the privacy of her email.