Here It Is, Actual Proof That God Hates The Chicago Bears. A Spider Prevented Kurt Warner From Going To The Bears

All of Chicago listening to this story

I mean…absolutely unbelievable and yet…totally believable. The year was 1997. Dave Wannstedt was still the coach. The Bears had three starting quarterbacks that year because of course they did but none of them were Hall Of Fame Quarterback Kurt Warner. And why…a bug bit him. A bug. A fucking BUG prevented Kurt Warner from a try out so the Bears went that year with Erik Kramer, Rick Mirer, and Steve Stenstrom. They went 4-12. The following year was Wanny's last year…they added Moses Moreno to the mix and went 4-12 again. In 1999 when the greatest show on turf was touring the country the Bears went 6-10 with Shane Matthews, Cade McNown, and Jim Miller all starting at least 3 games. And why…because of a spider. 

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God CLEARLY hates the Bears, but this story makes it obvious that God also LOVES Kurt Warner. Do you know what would've happened if that spider in Jamaica never bit him? He shows up and ABSOLUTELY beats out Steve Stenstrom or fucking somebody at some point and gets an NFL job with the Chicago Bears. THAT…would've ruined his life. Nobody would even know the name Kurt Warner if that happened. He'd probably have a few shitty starts for a team that was going nowhere and he'd be on a bus back to Iowa and the Arena League by the time the Dick Vermeil Rams were tearing up the league. That spider saved Kurt Warner's life. It wasn't a spider. It was his guardian angel. If you don't believe in divine intervention after hearing that story then you have your head in the sand. 

PS: Fuck you PFT for your maniacal laugh at the beginning of that story when Warner says it was true. That wasn't nice.