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Nelson Cruz Got His Personal Chef Hired by the Twins as Part of His New Contract

This is the type of leverage everyone dreams of having in job negotiations. "Oh, you want me to come back? Alright, but that's going to cost you $13 million for next year. And you know what, I'm actually still not coming unless you put my personal chef on the payroll, too."

What a power move. I guess those are the kinds of demands you can make when you've hit at least 37 home runs in the six seasons before a shortened 2020 — and had a pace of 43 last year, too. Sure, Nelson Cruz has done a PED or two in his day, but the dingers still count. And at 40 years old, he's only playing another 162 baseball games if he's going to live the life of luxury while doing it.

I just want to one day be able to wield this kind of power. I'm not going anywhere unless my personal chef is coming with me and that's that. What a life.