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Sharp Alert: Nicholas The Dolphin, Who Is On A 6 Game Winning Streak, Has Made His Pick For This Year's Super Bowl

So I guess we can focus on the commercials and the delicious food spreads for the Super Bowl this Sunday because the Chiefs have apparently locked up the game 5 days before it happens. You can take your PFF grades as well as your DVOA rankings, turn those sumbitches sideways, and stick them straight up your candy ass because Big Pick Nick loves Patty Mahomes and the boys this week.

*thinks about it for a second*

OK there are probably a bunch of people who have no idea what I am talking about because they don't realize that's the kind of stuff The Rock used to say before he became a superhuman actor capable of lifting an entire football team by himself. Nonetheless, there is nothing I trust more on Earth than an animal riding a hot streak with picks. Especially an aquatic mammal that understands about navigating the tides, which is much life navigating the tides of handicapping. This is no offense to all the Larry The Goldfish's that have entered and exited our lives. But I don't know if you can truly trust a cold-blooded creature that hatched from an egg with your picks. Meanwhile dolphins are warm-blooded, give live births, and have sex for fun. The only real difference between us and them is a blowhole, as well as in Nicholas' case a stone cold ability to pick the everliving shit out of games.

In case you need any more convincing, do you remember the last NFL team that played the Super Bowl in their home stadium? That's right...

The 1994 Dolphins, who just so happen to reside in Florida. Chiefs in a bloodbath. Or a close one. I'm pretty sure Nicholas is an amateur that just makes his picks against the moneyline. I also imagine he loooooooves Mecole Hardman scoring the first touchdown of the game.

Sidenote: The "Oh yeah, blow me" line may pound for pound be the funniest quote in movie history. So simple yet so perfect.