There I was, minding my business, merely waking up. Before peering out my window to see just how much snow needed shoveling, I opened the cell phone I'm addicted to to peruse Twitter. Nothing too exciting, the jokes about the LeBron incident last night had turned into serious discourse because people can't just laugh at anything and let it go anymore. And then this video of Allen Iverson playing football crossed my feed. I always have time to watch A.I. highlights. I don't care what is going on in my personal life or the rest of the world. You show me highlights of Iverson playing volleyball and I'm locked in until the video ends.
These aren't new highlights. They've been around for decades, anyone who loves Iverson has seen them before. But for whatever reason that "Seven interceptions in one game" stat really resonated more today than any other day. Coach off screen said it like the game just finished a few hours ago. He still can't believe it. Shoutout to the Virginia high school offensive coordinator who just kept dialing up passes in the general direction of #10 with no regard for his team's possessions. You'd think around the fourth or fifth pick they'd try running the ball or perhaps even just punting on first down. But, alas. I posted the tweet after watching the video three more times and went on with my day. Shoveling stinks and flamethrowers should be more abundant.
Then, after I could feel my hands again, I received the following note.
It's a great point from Chris. Seven is an absurd amount, but there's so much high school football. So many levels. Surely in Texas or Florida someone had themselves a magical Friday night where they picked off eight or nine passes. I did some light Googling.
(Max Preps) - Donald Moore of Splendora (Texas), during the postseason. Moore had a Hall of Fame career of his own. He ran for 6,850 career yards during the late 1970s and he once had seven interceptions in one game before finishing his career with 59.
Interception records, however, can be a little fuzzy. For many years, Moore's seven interceptions were the No. 3 mark for a single game.
No. 1 was Ken Golin of Broome (S.C.), who had nine interceptions in one game. Except that he didn't.
In fact there was no such person as Ken Golin. Broome had a receiver named Ken Bolin who had nine "receptions" in a state-final loss to Myrtle Beach. His reception total set a state championship game record. Somehow that got twisted into "interceptions" and the nonexistent Ken Golin was listed in the national record book for well over 20 years.
Then there was Glenn Rogers of Sandpoint (Idaho), who was listed with eight interceptions in a game against Bonners Ferry in 1928. Except that never happened either. Rogers did have three interceptions in that game and the team had eight, but somehow that got mixed up and became Rogers alone picking off eight passes.
Golin (or Bolin) and Rogers are no longer listed in the National Federation of High Schools Record Book and Moore is No. 1 along with two others with seven.
How about the stones on Idaho here, huh? "Oh yeah, we definitely had a guy in 1928 who had eight interceptions in a single game. Anyone who's anyone knows about the fast-paced, spread offense Idaho high school football had right before the Great Depression." Fucking Idaho. And then you have South Carolina where, apparently, reading is optional. Interceptions, receptions, Golin, Bolin, same difference. A real tomato-potato situation. Turns out the only way to have more interceptions than Allen Iverson is to be completely made up and have never existed.
So, congrats to The Answer for all the hard work, long hours, and dedication. I'm happy to bestow this honor on your mantelpiece. Well deserved and long overdue.