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I Don't Know Who Needs To Hear This, But Pizza Is NOT An Appetizer

This week on The Dog Walk, we did a snake draft of Super Bowl Shit: 

1 Game
1 QB
1 Coach
1 Appetizer
1 Halftime Show 

Easy peasy. Without giving away too many spoilers, Steven Cheah, a man that tries to carry himself with the utmost class, dignity, integrity and gumption, tried to draft PIZZA as an appetizer. Yes, you read that correctly - pizza. For me, it was the easiest veto in the history of our esteemed snake drafts. 

Giphy Images.
Giphy Images.
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I was in AWE that he tried to slide that one in there. Pizza? You fucking kidding me Shea? PIZZA? AN APPETIZER? This thing?

Yeah…… no no no. Not a shot in hell. Under no circumstance is a traditional pizza EVER considered an appetizer. It's an entree through and through. We'll get to variations in a moment but…

…at first, I thought I was somewhat to blame for this. I did in fact state that for the Super Bowl, most parties have a smorgasbord of appetizers to pick at throughout the day and there really isn't a "main dish" or anything. Sure, a lot of parties might have pizza, but just because the pizza is amongst a sea of appetizers doesn't make it an appetizer in and of itself. Same can be said for those who are making Italian beefs this weekend - that dish will be the exception to the "Super Bowl is mostly appetizers" rule. 

The fact is, Shay was trying to play the graphic. He pushed all his moral fiber aside and said "I'm going to try to steal this and get knee jerk votes because I drafted pizza even though I myself know it's not in any way an appetizer" and myself and my cohorts in Chicago were having NONE of that. We all vetoed - except for one person.

Who might that person be? Well look no further than Eddie. Hmmmm I wonder why? If you fast forward to 57:30 of the episode, the point where Chay tries to draft pizza, someone gets EERILY quiet. Ed? Where ya at Ed? Why aren't ya piping up? Why aren't you making an obvious veto for this outrageous selection?

UNBELIEVABLE ED!!!! What in the FUCK is your problem? 

Giphy Images.
Giphy Images.
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I'm sickened. Chea went out of his way to get clarification from Chairman Ed and Ed allowed pizza. Chief put it quite eloquently:

What in the fuck. I want to cry but at the same time, I'm not in any way surprised. That's just how they do it in Communist regimes. Someone has to get put this kid on a leash. He must be stopped.

Listen to the Dog Walk on YouTube, iTunes, Spotify and just about every other platform that's out there. Until then keep an eye on Ed, because you know he's got his eye on us, that sneaky fucking sicko.