Bible TikTok Is The Most Bizarre Corner Of The Internet

Lately I’ve been checking out all kinds of religious material. I’ve been reading older books, hermeneutic websites, and theological podcasts. I’ve checked out the memes, the meme accounts, and finally the tiktok. I wasn’t ready. I simply was not ready.

I get that you have to adjust to the modern audience but we’re calling Jesus JDog? If you thought calling Erika “E” was bad, imagine calling the savior of the world JDog. Peter would have your lunch if he saw that. (If it was after the rooster crowed three times at least) Couldnt be me. I’m more respectful to Jesus than I was to a Colonel who could influence my next promotion.

What kinda content shit we talkin? Well, hold on to your Bible Nuts. (Not testicles. I’m talkin a can of roasted nuts with a Bible verse on the side of the tin) 

Starting off tame. I texted Feits and told him that 20 years ago, I would have wifed this lady on the spot. Now? I’m just jealous I didn’t have bible-specific highlighters. Might order some.

I love that one and you know what? I believe her. I don’t think she said a bad word. maybe she said pussy or something but that’s a beautiful body part!

The story of Job is so fucked up. His life was just a big ole game. When you think about it, Job was the original Truman show but with death and devastation goofin thrown into the mix for some reason. 

These are all in good fun right? Look at this dude. Bible clout chasin smh.

Sad to see. Watching someone read, regardless of the book choice, is not nearly as entertaining as doin a trendy dance with your giblets flying in the wind.

I gotta say, I’m not sure if Jesus had an opinion on tank tops and whathaveyou. Big sarcasm guy? Maybe. We’ll get to bottom of it in me and Feits new show Barstool Confessions. Check it out.