Nothing Worse Than Being On a Nude Beach And Then Your Dick Gets Struck By Lightning

WTOP - Lightning struck a Florida nude beach Wednesday, injuring three people, authorities said. The lightning strike was reported at 4:13 p.m., as lifeguards were clearing Haulover Beach in Miami-Dade County. According to Miami-Dade Fire Rescue, the victims were all near the shoreline or in the water at the time of the lightning strike. One of the victims was airlifted to a nearby trauma center, while two others sustained non-life-threatening injuries, authorities said. The victims’ names have not been released. So far this year, 22 people across the United States are believed to have died in lightning-related incidents, the National Weather Service reports, nearly matching last year’s total of 26.

——

That has to suck. You’re out there lounging on the nude beach, trying to get your ass nice and tanned, and then BANG, lightning rips your dick off. Talk about a day ruiner. One second you and the rest of Florida’s most disgusting people are balls to the wind like old people in a gym locker room, next second lightning hits you right in the boner and fries it up like bacon. Can’t imagine the pain of a lightning bolt to the dick. But that’s the price you pay for thinking your shit don’t stink and going to the nude beach. Don’t want to victim blame here, but you can’t go balls out or tits out in a thunderstorm and think that’s not exactly where the lightning is going to strike. That’s just the simple facts of life. Florida isn’t Florida for nothing. I mean look at this cesspool

Packed tightly in there, cousins and uncles just ass to dick, beavers that haven’t been shaved since Nam, everything.

PS: There’s no evidence in the article that people got struck in the tits or dick, but that’s what I imagine happened so it’s what I went with. The fact of the matter remains if you stay inside you can’t get struck by lightning.