I had been looking for what seemed like 8 hours for something to blog about; seemed that way because it was, just about, 8 hours exactly. The only thing I've been interested in for two days is the saga formerly known as Gamestop vs. Wall Street now known as Robin "Democratizing Finance" Hood vs. the people of the democracy. That's when I stumbled on a massive headline emblazoned on Fox News, which they had pulled from the New York Post.
YOLO? Haven't heard that phrase in years…
A quick search also revealed another headline that was just as good:
"I Am Afraid Right Now." Too good. The stuff blog dreams are made of. I couldn't WAIT to snarkily and pretentious-ly make fun of this dummy, or more importantly, his dummy parents…
…for having their mortgage settings on "approve a second one, that processes in one day's time, and doesn't require either one of our signatures or just our knowledge in general, our son can sign for it it's all good." Wait what? Something doesn't smell right.
Sure enough, the 22-year-old didn't get the world's fastest and most inexplicable second-mortgage in the history of real estate.
He just trolled a reporter.
Poor Mary Jacob.
To be fair, "Just took out a second mortgage on my parent's house while they were at work" in a tweet is all the facts I would need to rush a story out to print. There's such a thing as a deadline you know, if you're not in the industry you wouldn't understand. If you WERE in the industry you probably wouldn't post this on such flimsy background though. But, tomato, tomato.
Whatever I'm not gonna pile on this Post lady, we all get duped by YOLO guys with access to Twitter accounts. Let's not forget the real enemy here. The people who democratized finance by stealing from the rich, then killing all the power and closing the bridges and tunnels so they could sneak back in in the middle of the night to return the money to the vaults, nice and neat like they found it, then stopping to shine the shoes of the bankers in the lobby while thanking them profusely for the honor of doing so before hustling back to Sherwood Forest.
She had a funny tweet up admitting her mistake and laughing at herself along with something funny @'ed to Jack, but I guess the NYP didn't feel like getting her back and she had to go protected.