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PSA: Nobody Is Taking Your Dumb Inspirational Quote To Heart

"Look there’s a good chance that there’s nothing in you that the world needs." - @MrJimFlorentine

"Life can only be understood backwards; But it must be lived forwards"

Oh so you just got to go forward with life? That’s good to know. Most people are on the fence about that. (9:50)

"Haters are my motivators."

No they’re not. You don’t like when people trash you. You don't like when people say bad things about you in the comments. They don’t motivate you. They depress you. That’s why you should probably stop posting stupid shit like this. (10:45)

"EVERYTHING happens for a reason"

When a little kid gets cancer and unfortunately passes away, does that happen for a reason? Do you just go "that kid was probably going to grow up to be an asshole anyway. I have a feeling he would've been a school shooter so maybe it's better." Try explaining that to the families. (12:25)

"There is something in you that the world needs!"

Yeah? What is it? It sounds like you're talking about actual shit. What else does everybody have inside of them that’s gonna come out. Look I just dropped a huge turd about an hour ago. Should I show that to the world? (18:05)

"Monday Motivation:

  • Drink your coffee
  • Stay focused and positive
  • Don't freak out
  • Remember, stabbing people is wrong!
  • Are you wearing pants?
  • You are a magnificent sunflower. Or potato. Whatever you life."

If I saw this hanging up in a place where I worked, you know what it would motivate me to do? Turn around and go the fuck home. (29:05)

"I'm so glad friends don't come with price tags. I could never afford the wonderful friends I got."

This quote sounds like she's moving soon and she needs help packing up her shit. (34:02)


    No you’re not. You’re a fucking idiot. (40:03)

Be sure to follow @EverybodyAwful on Twitter for all your #MondayMotivation needs.