What's Worse Than Getting Stabbed by Your Wife When She Finds a Photo of You With a Hot, Younger Woman? When the Other Woman Turns Out to Be an Old Photo of Her.

Source - A woman stabbed her husband several times after thinking she found photos of him with a younger woman. 

It turns out that she herself was that “other” woman. The photo of the couple was taken years ago, when they were dating, police in Sonora, Mexico said.

Authorities from the municipality of Cajeme reported that a suspect identified only as “Leonora N” was arrested for wounding her husband “Juan N” with a knife after finding several photos on his cellphone.

The husband, who managed to take the knife from her, explained that the photos were of them back when they were more youthful and slim. 

First, a disclaimer. As far as I can tell, this is a true story from a legitimate news source. I had to double check to make sure this wasn't from The Onion or Babylon Bee or a really dark, lost episode of "The Ropers."

Second, as a general rule, any time a husband gets stabbed by his wife, it's going to be the worst part of the day for both spouses. But Juan and Leonora N are the exceptions. For both of them, things got appreciably worse once they were done sorting out this wacky misunderstanding. 

I mean, how would you like to be in Juan's shoes? Has there ever been a worse case of doing the time without doing the crime? It's one thing if you're bleeding from multiple stab wounds because you got caught buttering your toast on the other side with a younger, hotter, slimmer sidepiece. You shouldn't be stabbed for that but at least he could understand the wounds are part of the price of doing business. A hazard of the job in the cheating husband profession. Plus they could serve as a reminder of all the good times he enjoyed tomcattin' around. Every scar a memory deposited in his Spank Bank.

He got none of that. He's guilty of nothing more than loving his wife and trying to preserve the memories of the good times they had together.

And for Leonora, not only is she about to be a convicted husband stabber, she's now faced with the worst fate that can befall any spouse. The realization that you've let yourself go and there is no going back to the way you used to look. Stab wounds heal. Your probationary period with the courts will end. But losing your "youthful and slim" appearance is forever. And every time she sees his scars, she's going to be reminded of how hot she used to be. And jealous of that young, attractive chick Juan fell in love with who's been stolen away from him by the ravages of time. 

In a perfect world, Juan ought to be allowed some side action, given the terrible price he's already paid. But if you think Leonora is going to be giving him a Hall Pass to even this score, you've no doubt never been married. He's the victim here 10 times over, but he's going to be guilted into feeling bad for Leonora, I guaran-damned-tee it. Any time he so much as tries to bring up the time she stabbed him repeatedly, she's going to cry about how she feels old and fat and unattractive and he's going to have to make her feel better. He'd probably be better off if she'd just finished him off. This is one of those no-win scenarios where the living will envy the dead.