While You Were Sleeping, Jimmer Fredette Dropped A Casual 70 Points For The Shanghai Sharks

First of all, I personally choose to believe that the caption of that tweet isn't a typo of Jimmer saying he's in China but instead Jimmer getting cocky and saying he IS China, a la Vincent Chase in the role that made him a name in Hollywood.

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Anyway, during these weird times, nothing brings back a sense of normalcy than watching Jimmer get buckets with a stroke smoother than the Fanta you drink after slamming three beers. If putting up 50 in America is a 50 Burger, what's putting up 70 in China? A 70 Roll? A Number 70 Combo Dish?

I don't know what Jimmer needs to do to get another shot in the NBA, but I'm down to crowdsource it. It could be a new trainer, limb lengthening surgery, or the finest untraceable steroids on the market. Whatever it is, put me down for 100 bucks in order to get this bad mamma jamma back in the states and the Association where he belongs. Not only because watching a man with unlimited range is fun as fuck but because kids named Jimmer deserve to watch their namesake play hoops without having to log on to Twitter or scroll through a smut blog.

Oooh I just thought of it. The Knicks clearly need outside shooting and Thibs is world renowned for getting his players to grind on the defensive side of the court, which we'll just say has never been Jimmer's strength. Why not scratch both those itches and give the Jimmer + Knicks marriage one more chance. All Jimmer has to do is hire CAA as his agency and he'll be back at The Mecca before we know it.