Things I Want To Do Before I Graduate

Screen Shot 2015-07-21 at 12.31.25 PM



So as the end of the summer gets closer so does going back to UMass for my senior year. Scary stuff that i try not to think about. But when I do think about going back and getting closer to the end of my time in college, I think about all the things I want to do before I graduate. So I came up with a short list of things:

6.Not be a hungover piece of shit on the weekends and explore Western Mass. Western Mass is so beautiful. It’s full of mountains and amazing landscape or so I have been told. I went on one hike in the three years that I have spent at school and its only because I was too sick to go out that weekend. It was really fun and I would love to do it again. But somehow either find myself with the most dibilating hangover whereI can only crawl to and from my bed to get food or if its nice out I get ready to cure my hangover by day drinking. Maybe a few times this year ill be able to get my shit together and climb a mountain or stare at some scenery, I don’t know.

5. I want to kill my next door neighbor.

Like actually murder, or at least drive him so insane he moves out. I cant describe to you how insane he is, he is someone that you need to experience yourself but ill try. He is one of those “born and raised in the Amherst area weirdos” and he gets a high off of getting people in trouble and stirring things up. We had a few people over for dinner on our back porch one night and he called the cops. My best friend was visiting from Ohio and she accidentally pulled into his driveway so he screamed at her and called the cops. He told us when we moved in that he has a machete and he would use it. He’s just insane and I want him kicked out of the town of Amherst.


4.Do karaoke at Stackers.

My roommates and I have been wanting to do this for a long time and this is the year so get ready to get blown away by my beautiful voice, Stackers. We all have songs picked out already and mine is “Like This” by Kelly Rowland.

3.Go to monkey bar and not black out.

Kinda weird and sounds like a joke but this is a legitimate goal of mine. So far I’ve never been able to go inside monkey bar and not come out unbelievably drunk. I have no idea what it is about that particular bar but its the only place that happens. Its like once I go in I walk into a giant black hole. Truly incredible really.



2.Skinny dip in puffers pond.

I live right near puffers pond so I’m really surprised this hasn’t happened yet after a night out. This will be the year though.

1.Have sex on the top floor of the library.

One of the more notable things about UMass is the giant some say penis shaped library. I know people are going to call me out that the top floor is a teaching commons and you need a pass to go up there but I feel like I could get around that. Or if I have to settle for a random floor like the 19th that’ll work too.



Those are just a few things that I want to do before I have to get a real job and be an actual person in the world not just an idiot college student. This could be dangerous but if any UMass alumni have any other suggestions of stuff I should do feel free to let me know!