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Dan Campbell Had Maybe The Greatest Introductory Press Conference Ever Where He Said The Lions Are Going To Eat The Kneecaps And Bodies Of Every Team They Play

Let's go to the Packers practice field to see Matt LaFleur's live reaction:

*Camera pans down*

Holy crap. I'm not even a Lions fan and already have a Football Guy football coach that I would kill/die for, but even I am fired up after hearing that press conference. I can only imagine what Superfan and Detroit Don are doing right now but I would pay a crazy amount of money to see their live reaction to that one minute snippet.

I blogged about the Lions hiring known badass mamma jamma Dan Campbell yesterday.

However after that press conference, it looks like Dan Campbell is officially out of bubble gum to chew AND ass to kick after consuming an imaginary football team in painstaking detail. I honestly think Dan Campbell is going to have the Lions maul their opponents like they are actual real life lions. To play like a lion, you have to eat like a lion, which means eating all of your enemies like its the Circle of Life. It turns out the Detroit Lions trying to play football any given Sunday like mere humans is the reason for all their misery over the years.

You know who is going to love that type of violence? The Motor City maniacs commonly known as Detroit sports fans who are known to occasionally be a little violent in their own right.

Again, I have no clue if Dan Campbell is going to be a good coach or a bad coach. But he is going to bring out the literal fight in the Lions as only a true Football Guy can and make Detroit go from a place NFL teams went to get wins to a place they went to lose limbs, which is something I imagine Lions fans will sign up for after the last ohhhhh lifetime worth of dogshit they've had to put up with. If you are a Lions fan, I feel like you'll take that. And if you are a Lions player who just had to deal with some rocket scientist nerd coaching you with a pencil behind his ear, a guy like this is a breath of fresh air. 

Hell, maybe there's a chance Dan Campbell's passion will inspire Megatron or Barry Sanders to unretire. Okay, that is probably a pipe dream. But if Campbell can get these two legends back in the fold, I feel like they could still do work today based on their ridiculous talent and the offensive rules of the 2020s.

Between having a lunatic as head coach of the Detroit Lions, the Barstool Sportsbook coming to town, and Penn National matching every dollar deposited and wagered opening weekend of the sportsbook in Michigan being donated to the Barstool fund, the arrow is green and pointing directly up for Michigan.