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Today Is 'Blue Monday' Which Means It's Scientifically The Most Depressing Day Of The Year And It's Such Bullshit

[Source] - If you’ve woken up feeling like everything is a bit gloomier than usual, it could be because today is Blue Monday. If you believe in such things, Blue Monday is supposedly the most depressing day of the year.

It falls on the third Monday of January every year.

The theory goes that at this time we are all cold, broke and riddled with guilt due to the fact that we’ve failed our New Year’s Resolutions already.

The first Blue Monday was marked in 2004 when the idea was conceived y life coach and happiness consultant Dr Cliff Arnall.

Hey scientists, suck my dick. I refuse to believe today is the most depressing day of the year. You know what will always be the most depressing day of the year? The day the NCAA Tournament got canceled last year. Make the Blue Monday and I don't give a shit if it doesn't fall on a Monday. We still have football correct? Yep. We still have a decent college basketball slate today, right? Yep. 

Plus, how more depressing can this get? Let's see. The Giants missed the playoffs with 6 wins because the Eagles played Nate fucking Sudfeld. The Orioles just celebrated the 5th anniversary of offering Chris Davis the worst contract in sports. Kentucky basketball is killing me day by day. Yeah, this whole fucking thing has been pretty depressing! And get out of here with shit like 'New Year's resolutions have failed.' It's been 2 weeks, stop making resolutions Sally. 

Blue Monday can get the fuck out of here. It's called the winter. It sucks after New Year's, you have nothing to look forward to except for the Super Bowl and then a few months until the NCAA Tournament and then we finally get some sun. This is why I debated moving south to Charleston. At least you can golf in the winter there. But that's not going to save sports, which like a normal functioning adult, determines how happy I am. Plus my chipping has gone to complete shit, so now I just get frustrated on the course. Super fun with that dead Bermuda grass down in the Carolina's when my left to right drive doesn't come all the way back either. 

Also why wouldn't Blue Monday just be the name for the day after the Super Bowl? That seems like a no-brainer here. Everyone going back to work hungover. A small sample of people happy because their team won, everyone else losing bets and watching Tom Brady win again. Plus, you know Tony from Accounting is blowing up the bathroom after eating 6 versions of the same buffalo chicken dip. You don't want to walk into the bathroom after that. Yeah, you have conference tournaments coming at the end of the month after the Super Bowl, but it still feels bleak. The weather starts to turn around March Madness. Get scientists and researchers the hell out of here and we're officially moving Blue Monday to the day after the Super Bowl.*

*Until it becomes a national holiday