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No Matter What Red Ed Says, The Only Way To Live Is To Have All Of Your Contacts On "Do Not Disturb"

Here is me yesterday, just minding my business and trying to give my guy Mikey Fowler a compliment. Mikey is the Head of Audio(or something like that) at Barstool Sports. Good guy and an even better texter. He leaves everyone on "read" and that's fine because he replies to your text as if he was just sitting around staring at his phone all day waiting for you to send it. It's incredible. He replies so fast that if he were a girl I was dating I'd probably never talk to him again. Professionally though I love it and appreciate it and wanted to shine a light on it and then in comes my friend Ed

Can't even give a third party compliment without getting slandered. Sad!

Here is where Ed messed up though…I am right and he is wrong. Having anyone that texts you consistently is the best and ONLY way to live with your notifications. There's nothing worse than trying to work on something or focus in on an in-person conversation and your phone is just buzzing left and right(I also don't do ring tones/sounds under any circumstances). It's distracting and takes away from whatever you're trying to do in that very moment. 

When your phone is constantly pushing notifications on your it's invasive. It's called a "push notification" for a reason. It's really more like a shove. When your phone is making a commotion it is impossible to ignore. You have to check it. It's an impulse. People have had mental breakdowns over less. Anyone who watched "The Social Dilemma" on Netflix knows that your phone owns you and is competing for your attention with every other form of content and real people in your life. YOUR phone owns you, mine doesn't. I check it on my own time. If you text me more than once per week then you get the silent treatment. I might not get back to you right away, but I will almost always get back to you and if I don't it's because I forgot(Dante gets upset with me for the timeliness of my responses probably twice per month. Thinks I am mad at him and I have to explain..I just didn't check my phone OR…I was doing something else and forgot. Not personal). Do Not Disturb leads to a clearer head. A less anxious mind. My parents, family, coworkers, friends, everyone…they're all in the same boat. I'll text ya when I text you and if that's not fast enough because it's an emergency then call me and I'll answer. Boom, done. Free and clear. Unchain yourself from notifications this weekend. Be present. Be undistracted. Own your phone so your phone doesn't own you. 

PS: Mikey asked if I have Erika on Do Not Disturb…no. If you think the CEO of Barstool Sports is texting me more than once per week you are high. She has notifications on. The other person at the company is Coley Mick now because if Coley is texting me that probably means that I massively fucked something up and I need to fix it immediately. Other than that you're on snooze mode.