West Virginia Graduations

The Wheeling Park Class of 2010 was memorable to say the least...

A top High School in the state in every major category (academically, athletically, reproductively and mortality), it'd be damn near impossible to list all the memories. 

Following a year where I won the most sought after award our school had to offer, and where my friend Kyle defied gender roles championing the path for males that want to join exclusively female clubs, we went into 2010 with high hopes.

With so much happening my senior year, I feel it'd just be easier to break the events down to categories.


  • Our beloved football team garnered widespread praise after starting Vietnamese exchange student holder, and subsequently having the most flags (National) in the state of WV
  • Led by the very same exhange student holder and his 3 cousins, our basketball team led the state in Nguyens, finishing the season with a gutsy 0-16 record.
  • In a win for body positivity, our cheerleading squad was literally scaled up, removing weight limits for membership.
  • Cheerleading squad unveiled and executed the first ever "only base layer" human pyramid.





  • After tragically losing his arms to gangrene, our classmate with the biggest penis went to Arizona State University to be the logo and get his GED at Tempe High
  • Sigma Cum Laude went on to give colonoscopies. Got into MIT Romney. Did very well on her ACT's, but did very bad on a CT (scan). Passed in 2015

Listen to everything that happened on the most recent episode of A New Untold Story. A real podcast.