We Had A Good Old Fashioned Source Off This Morning About How Close Brad Hand Is To Signing With The Mets
So this hit Twitter a few minutes ago followed by the requisite Quote Retweets of Mets fans being happy and/or making bad jokes involving the word hand. All was well in Metsland as it has been since our Lord and savior Steve Cohen emerged from the clouds to save us from the evil Wilpon warlocks.
HOWEVAH, Mark Feinsand slapped Rosenthal across the face with his dick and Mets fans with some cold water straight from his source that said the Mets and Hand were not close to a deal.
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Okay, full of shit may be a little harsh. Only full of a little bit of shit. Maybe a grumble in the belly and a few farts slipping out but no real urge to go to the bathroom.
Now despite Feinsand's clearly worded tweet, I decided to lean towards trusting Rosenthal's source. Part of that is the optimistic nature in me hoping we landed a pitcher like Brad Hand. another part of that is you better have the best sources in the game if you are dressing in a bow tie during the 21st century, and part of that was Rosenthal using something called Tweetbot to post his tweet, which sounds like something created deep in the insider dark web to pump out sport rumors as soon as they are spoken into existence.
That optimism quickly disappeared once Jon Heyman came over the top to make this a triple threat source off by dropping a report with MULTIPLE sources saying Hand was NOT close and even through in a couple of other interested teams to establish dominance over his opponents.
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The internet seems to go hot and cold on Heyman, but I usually trust what he says when it comes to deals. He may catch up on credit about who reported them a day later or so, but I always appreciate someone who not only shows their work but also gives credit to non traditional media sources that just so happen to live in Scoop City.
I decided to take matters into my own hands (no pun intended) and used an old trick from my wank battling days to find out if the Mets were getting their big lefty reliever today.
Brad has not responded to this tweet as of the time of publication, which is a total Brad move. Rosenthal however has since bent the knee to Mark Feinsand's source and relented the Mets are not as #close as he thought.
Fuuuuuuuuck this sucks. Not because the Mets are further from sealing the deal and making beautiful contract babies with Brad Hand. I mean I'd love to have Hand despite multiple Cleveland fans telling me he is a reliever that will crush my soul in a big spot, which puts him perfectly in line with every other Mets reliever I've ever known. I know if Uncle Stevie truly wants Brad Hand, he will get Brad Hand and should have already had him after the Indians placed Hand on waivers if everyone didn't lollygag to approve the Mets sale to Cohen. I am just annoyed that I have to sit through an entire day of Baseball Arbitration Twitter, which is by farrrrrr the worst Twitter in all of sports, just to see if Brad Hand signed with my team.
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Thanks for tickling my balls before 9 AM on a Friday, Kenny! Nothing like a case of baseball blue balls before my morning coffee.
As for the results of the Source Off, this one is pretty clear.
W- M. Feinsand (1-0)
L- K. Rosenthal (0-1)
S- J. Heyman (1)
There is officially only one bow tie guy I trust with my life and his name sure as shit isn't Ken.