'The Challenge: Double Agents' Ep. 5 Recap & Power Rankings - The Old Bitch Has Still Got It

*Spoilers Obviously Ahead. Again, this is your warning* 

We're going to keep these blogs going. If we can't have No Quitters (RIPIP, send all complaints on Twitter) we're going to have the blog damnit. The Challenge is too damn good of a show to not be talked about. Each Thursday I'll drop one of these recaps and power rankings so we all can argue about America's fifth sport. Maybe I'll convince the other guys from No Quitters to do a chat and we'll post the chat like it's the old podcast.

Do people understand the goal is to win this fucking game? 

I'm looking at you Cory, the big dumb bitch Josh and really everyone that's involved in the stupid squad. The episode starts with Cory yelling at Fessy about how he's not a real friend by going against Nelson. Listen, I like Cory. Cory is a moron when it comes to the breakdown of the game. The goal is to win the money. This season you NEED to win an elimination in order to get to the final. It was Hall Brawl and Fessy is a monster. That's called a business decision, ask Wes about those Cory. 

Bro, you have a chance a win a million bucks. You NEED to win an elimination. I'm chopping my friends knees off in Hall Brawl if I have to. Sorry, Dan you lanky bastard. But this is a game. Cory seems to forget that. 

Your weekly Josh is a big dumb bitch segment 

Every week Josh is on this show there's going to be a time he acts like a big, dumb bitch. This time we got it out early. Like right off the bat early. He of course was still complaining about how Fessy was voted in instead of him and how it was Fessy's fault. Nobody loves crying more while having no idea how to talk like Josh. He's notorious for a) crying because he thinks everyone is out to get him when no one gives a shit about him and b) saying he wants to go into an elimination and then refusing to go in. Big, dumb bitch. 

Natalie shockingly leaves, Ashley is back

As they show up for the challenge, we get news that Natalie is leaving for personal reasons. It's sad, but she found out she was pregnant, went home and eventually had a miscarriage. Legit T's & P's to her. Hopefully she's back in a future season because she was a legit top-2 or 3 contestant this year. A monster in challenges. But with Natalie leaving, now the 3rd girl to leave because of injury or personal reasons, we get someone back. 

She's paired up with Cory and we've seen them paired up before on Rivals III

CT is still the GOAT

We get to the daily challenge and it was actually a decent one. Girls are dangling off the cliff on a platform as guys are pulling out rope. TJ then decides at some point to hit a buzzer that sends the platform out and if the guys don't have the rope out and holding their partners, their partner goes flying. 

But this is about CT. The guy's transformation from the loose cannon to dad and big goofy guy is nothing short of amazing. Even better is the fact he's partnered with Big T, a British girl who is the exact opposite of Big. He had a pretty good advantage here holding up a small girl while he's the size of monster. Big T is naturally scared and listening to him scream at Big T about showing her mean face was fucking hilarious. Sounded like a T-ball coach

He also just straight up tells Josh to fuck off, bonus points. For whatever reason Josh is trying to cut a deal that makes zero sense for CT. He asks him to drop Big T at the same time/before he drops Nany. Yeah, CT won't do that shit. Needless to say CT and Big T won. There was a little bit of controversy as people on Twitter saw Theresa (finished 2nd with Jay) holding onto the ledge: 

They didn't say you couldn't do that. Find any advantage you can. Also Theresa always kinda did it for me, so she gets a pass 

Big T and the Itty Bitty Crew's plan actually works

Flashback to the beginning of the episode and we have Big T, Amber M, Amber B and Gabby devising a plan that whoever wins will try to rally the house vote to get Aneesa and Tori to go against each other. This is where they lost me though. They think it's some 'big' vs 'small' thing. Nah, it's rookies, you always get thrown in early if you're a rookie. Anywho, with Big T and CT winning they can start the plan and rally the house. Tori and Aneesa are trying to get people to burn votes so they don't get thrown in. Also Big T dominates the bubble bar. We need the bubble bar every season from here on out. Keep the drunken idiots at home and stir up more drama than out at some foreign bar. 

We find out the plan, which is really hatched by Amber M works. You may not know Amber M because she hasn't had much screen time, but apparently she understands the political side of the game here. 

The elimination

Big T lives up to her words and throws in Tori to go against Aneesa. It's a perfect play, break up that alliance and get rid of one of the better competitors. I actually liked the elimination. They had to pull this basket to tip to get essentially medicine balls and then throw the medicine balls at this board of paper, except some were solid. It kinda reminded me of the American Gladiators eliminator where they had to guess what wall to jump through. Anyways, Tori legit just couldn't get the balls to tip. It was wild; 

Aneesa got off to a hot start. Before Tori even got the balls tipped, Aneesa had 8 of the 13 windows blown out. It actually got close late though since Aneesa was struggling to get the balls to the top row to knock a couple out. Tori snapped and finally just launched balls at the damn thing

Aneesa wins, tells the world the old bitch still has it and immediately shakes up the game. With the right to steal a teammate, she drops Leroy and takes Fessy back. Love the move because Fessy hates it. Kaycee takes back Leroy and leaves Devin is a rogue agent. Honestly, it's a smart and dumb move for all involved. Fessy/Aneesa both have skulls, so it'll be interesting to see what happens there. They are the first team to both have a skull. Kaycee and Leroy have their alliance back but both need skulls. Devin has a skull, is the rogue agent and Devin is always fucking shit up. Love Devin. He's got some shit planned as he doesn't really have a true alliance. 

Power Rankings

Guys

12. Mechie

11. Lio

10. Nam

9. Josh

8. Leroy

7. Jay

6. Kyle

5. Darrell

4. Cory

3. CT

2. Devin

1. Fessy

Girls

11. Gabby

10. Amber B

9. Nany

8. Amber M

7. Big T

6. Kam

5. Theresa

4. Lolo

3. Ashley

2. Aneesa

1. Kaycee

Team Rankings

Devin is a rogue agent

11.Lio/Gabby

10.Mechie/Amber M.

9. Josh/Nany

8. Darrell/Amber B

7. Nam/Lolo

6. Jay/Theresa

5. Kyle/Kam

4. Cory/Ashley

3. CT/Big T

2. Leroy/Kaycee

1. Aneesa/Fessy