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FINALLY: Denmark Has Developed a Children's Show About a Man Overcoming Life With a Giant Penis

Decider — In completely bizarre news, Danish network DR has launched a new children’s series about a man with a penis so enormous, he can barely control it. The new series, John Dillermand, follows a man who puts his record-setting penis to good use in rescue operations, money-making schemes, and cooking demonstrations in order to teach kids the importance of overcoming hardship and celebrating diverse bodies.

It's about damn time. For all I hear about diversity and making sure everyone is represented in media, the gigantic penis population has been noticeably absent from the European children's television market. Thank God we have righted this egregious wrong.

When you can show children how to execute rescue operations and cooking demonstrations using a penis, you have to do it. I'm sure that won't result in any impressionable minds doing anything stupid. But regardless of how you feel about this show, everyone must admit it has unquestionably the best name for any television show ever.

John Dillermand isn’t exactly an exercise in subtlety — “diller” means “penis” in Danish, and “Dillermand” translates to “penis-man”

This network is making absolutely no bones about this TV show. When you turn on John Penis-man, you know exactly what you're in for. That guy is going to be showing kids how he's able to do things with his dick and you're going to like it.

The series doesn't have subtitles, but the episodes are only five minutes and it's not too hard to pick up what's going on. My man literally just goes around and fixes problems by using his penis — which I feel is giving children an unrealistic expectation that penises solve more problems than they create, but we're talking about a kid's show about a man with a giant schlong, so I digress. I highly recommend checking out the first one below just to get a glimpse into what the youth of Denmark is watching these days.